if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
