I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Randomize
