talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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