Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
