is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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