Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
