wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
