I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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