I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
