Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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