Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
The beer is more important than you right now.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
