just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Randomize
