I'm really into asian looking animals
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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