I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Randomize
