remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
