Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
