She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
