Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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