hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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