Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
