im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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