He is an equal opportunity slut.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Randomize
