6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Randomize
