those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Randomize
