Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
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