i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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