My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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