I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
"it" just moved
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
