Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
