so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
