I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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