I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Randomize
