i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize