I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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