one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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