Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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