So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize