You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
