whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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