So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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