she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
