Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
