Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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