Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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