dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
