i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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