I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
