Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
