Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You have to summon your inner elephant
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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