I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
