We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
