I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
