12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize