lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
