So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize