Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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