i was rollin on her like bob the builder
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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