So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
only if we run a train.
done.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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