You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize
