Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
