he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I just forgot I was standing up.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize