I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
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