Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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