idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize